you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
