Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
