so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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