Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
