I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
