just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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