i think my tv is drunk
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
