Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
