I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
try to milk me bitch
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