I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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