what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
