Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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