I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
