But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
