She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize