I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
