): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
