brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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