When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
