What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
