I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
