this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
