My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
