My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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