he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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