she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
