Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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