dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
