im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
