Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
