dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
