There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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