looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
