my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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