Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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