I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
