i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
