sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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