my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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