Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
