I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize