I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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