Umm I'm too high to move.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
