i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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