okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
