You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
