im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
