i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
