Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
