Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
