haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
