She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
be right there i have to get my cape
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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