at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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