toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I CAN MOONWALK!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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