Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
