i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
