i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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