But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
