I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
