her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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