How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
