my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
