so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
