hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
