Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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