Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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