im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
