You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
