oh god the rape fog is back!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
